i want my life back! December 2, 2008
Posted by hira in : General Musings , 2 commentsWell, not really. What I actually want is to figure out the next stage of my life. Right now I feel like I am sitting in a waiting room between the past and the unknown future… I am not working, after exams in a week I will no longer be studying (for this semester, anyways), I have unlimited free time it seems… so where is it all going?
Alhamdulillah, this is probably the “breath” I was making dua for - some time off to refocus on my iman and figuring some things out. Ironically I still felt stressed worrying that I’m wasting this valuable time, that I should be doing something. If I was married it would be purrrfect because I could be playing the content housewife role (which I so long for!) and not have to keep thinking “When will I get a job?” “When will I get married?” “Where is my life going?” and actually relax into it.
The other day I went to this awesome halal restaurant owned/run by this super nice Pakistani family, and I was chatting with my friend about “the past” - in particular, my past pre-Islam self. I couldn’t put my finger on it then, but basically I was saying sometimes I felt nostalgia for my old life - so many things I used to do and enjoy (tons of music, karaoke, christmas, long road trips, etc. etc.) that I left behind. I said I wondered how my life would be now if I hadn’t come to know Islam. Not that I want to go back to those days, alhamdulillah I am SO blessed Allah chose me to be a Muslimah… what I realized later was that the feeling is just like remembering a friend you were so close with but haven’t seen in years and you think, “I wonder how so-and-so is doing? How is her life these days?”
Sometimes I feel it all happened so fast. My “conversion” time is strangely a blur… I can’t recall even what month it was I took shahada. I have flashbacks of moments reading a certain Islamic book, or using a pillowcase as a hijab for salaah because I didn’t have a scarf, or one time when it was really hot praying in a tanktop and pajama pants thinking it was okay that I didn’t really need to cover my hair etc (out of total ignorance). I do remember the moment I took shahada though - I was reading a book about Islam while I was sitting in bed before sleeping, and there was a part about shahada and I thought to myself that this is the truth and I should just “go for it” and I had no thoughts about what “lay on the other side of my conversion” (as another sister had put it.)
SO what about now?
What kind of life do I want to create? Of course 100% the most important thing is to be a good Muslimah and strive towards Allah’s pleasure. After brainstorming a bit, here are some things I want to focus on:
* Memorizing Qur’an (I’ve got lots of links I want to post about hifdh insha’Allah)
* Healthy lifestyle (nutrition, stretching, regular exercise)
* Learning Arabic
* Finding a good spouse
* Organizing a “Muslimah Conference” for ladies only
* Islamic Online University courses
* Getting a good halal job to pay tha bills
Insha’Allah I can make some sort of consistent schedule and stick to it so I can actually progress. sh.Husain once said “In randomness is inconsistency” and that is SO true… for me this is the hardest thing, to do things on a regular basis for more than a few days.
Oh, I think the water for tea is probably all boiled away by now :P Gtg but will blog more thoughts soon…
PS. FYI if you’d like to subscribe to the RSS feed just enter this addy and it should work insha’Allah: hira.hadithuna.com/feed
tagged ~ November 27, 2008
Posted by hira in : General Musings , 1 comment so farBismillah ar-Rahman ar-Raheem
I’ve been tagged by Umm Hibaat! Alhamdulillah it’s good because I haven’t updated in awhile, still confused whether to blog one place or two places or move both to wordpress or what (O_o );; Anyways, the tag is:
The Rules:
Link back to the person who tagged you.
List 3 ahadith you’d like to pin up in your masjid and why.
Tag some of your fellow bloggers by linking to them in your post and don’t forget to post a comment on their blog to let them know they’ve been tagged.
HADITH #1:
On the authority of Muadh bin Jabal, who said:
I said: “O Messenger of Allah, tell me of an act which will take me into Paradise and will keep me away from Hell fire.” He said: “You have asked me about a major matter, yet it is easy for him for whom Allah Almighty makes it easy. You should worship Allah, associating nothing with Him, you should perform the prayers, you should pay the zakat, you should fast in Ramadan, and you should make the pilgrimage to the House.”
Then he said:” Shall I not show you the gates of goodness ? Fasting is a shield, charity extinguishes sin as water extinguishes fire; and the praying of a man in the depth of night.” Then he recited: “Who forsake their beds to cry unto their Lord in fear and hope, and spend of that We have bestowed on them. No soul knoweth what is kept hid for them of joy, as a reward for what they used to do.” {Qur’an}
Then he said: ” Shall I not tell you of the peak of the matter, its pillar, and its topmost part?” I said: “Yes, O Messenger of Allah.” He said: “The peak of the matter is Islam; the pillar is prayer; and its topmost part is jihad.”
Then he said: “Shall I not tell you of the controlling of all that?” I said:”Yes, O Messenger of Allah,” and he took hold of his tongue and said: “Restrain this.” I said: “O Prophet of Allah, will what we say be held against us?” He said: “May your mother be bereaved of you, Muadh ! Is there anything that topples people on their faces - or he said on their noses into Hell - fire other than the jests of their tongues ?”
Related by Al-Tirmithi.
The hadith I chose are not directly related to “masjid problems” such as poor adab, but rather I just wanted hadiths to highlight some important things as reminders for those who know and knowledge for those who don’t know. For this hadith, I chose it because it covers many aspects including the five pillars, and the supererogatory acts which people can do such as charity, fasting, and qiyaam al-layl. It also highlights the importance of watching the tongue. I like that it starts off with a question about how to enter Jannah and avoid hellfire, which should pique peoples interest as being a relevent question to themselves as well.
HADITH #2
On the authority of Abu Hurairah, who said: The Messenger of Allah said:
“Do not envy one another; do not inflate prices one to another; do not hate one another; do not turn away from one another; and do not undercut one another, but be you, O servants of Allah, brothers. A muslim is the brother of a muslim: he neither oppresses him nor does he fail him, he neither lies to him nor does he hold him in contempt. Piety is right here-and he pointed to his breast three times. It is evil enough for a man to hold his brother muslim in contempt. The whole of a muslim for another muslim is inviolable: his blood, his property, and his honor.”
Related by Muslim.
I chose this one because we go around the masjid saying “sister so-and-so,” “brother so-and-so” but often not really acting as true sisters and brothers. This concept of true sisterhood has to be stressed again and again, to help make the community strong.
HADITH #3
On the authority of Abu Malik Al-Harith bin Asim Al-Ashari said that the Messenger of Allah said:
“Purity is half of faith. Alhamdu-lillah [Praise be to Allah] fills the scales, and subhana-Allah [How far is Allah from every imperfection] and alhamdu-lillah [Praise be to Allah] fill that which is between heaven and earth. Prayer is light, charity is a proof, patience is illumination, and the Quran is an argument either for or against you. Everyone starts his day and is a vendor of his soul, either freeing it or bringing about its ruin.”
Related by Muslim.
I chose this hadith just because I really like it… it is simple, and the description is beautiful and encouraging. Especially people who are not that close to the deen, we have to show that salaah is something amazing… it is a light, not just hitting them over the head with fiqh rulings and fatwas and “haram haram haram” because while of course these are important, peoples hearts need to be connected first… like how a flower radiates its beauty to draw in the bee. But this hadith also highlights very serious issues as well that people need to be cognizant of - that the Quran can be a proof for or against you, and that each person is responsible for the well-being of their own soul.
Overall, I chose these hadiths because I felt they addressed, in an easy to understand way, core issues relevant to those who may come to the masjid whether their knowledge of the deen is a little or a lot. Also the way they are worded draws people in and makes them consider their own self and actions.
So I am tagging….. Hiku and Truthful Seeker!
hadithuna November 9, 2008
Posted by hira in : General Musings , 5 commentsBismillah ar-Rahman ar-Raheem
I like the idea of Hadithuna and it has some good features, WP-based is different than Blogger n maybe a little bit better (not sure yet). However, lately I have been experiencing some problems - couldn’t log in from school because it said cookies had to be enabled, there was some weird glitch that messed up the page sometimes when I tried to post an embedded video, the spell-check thing is kind of irritating, and now… for some reason the drop-down menu for admin options is all flashy (flickering) and I can’t select the option I want (>_< ) Also, it seems I cannot directly edit the template html code - but maybe I just haven’t found the option for that yet (I’m assuming it must be somewhere.)
So… kind of not impressed. Considering I never had any problems with Blogger.
Actually, the flickering issue might be a browser/computer/something else problem because it seems to be happening on another webpage too (I was checking into Muxlim.com ’s blog option ;p) So….. not sure what to do! Stick w Hadithuna or, move back to Blogger w a new page… or re-vamp the old one, or try going direct to WordPress (-_- ?)
Right now I’m at a point in my life where everything seems confusing and choice-full. What to study. Who to marry. Where to blog. What to do. Where to work. Even I keep hashing and rehashing the whole taking-on-an-”muslim”(ie arabic)-name bit. Its already been more than three years since I came into Islam… so, kind of a delayed reaction it seems. Like, if I was going to do it I should have done it awhile ago.
I know its not necessary for one to change their name unless it has a bad meaning. My name’s meaning is… maybe kind of having “shirk”-ish roots, so I am not sure if it is an obligation on me to change it or not? Like, where the line is drawn. On one hand, I want to emphasize the fact to my family and pre-Islam friends that Islam is not something foreign. Also, I *was* given the name Aaminah a long time ago… which I am called by some people… but… maybe I just don’t feel connected to that name.
Lately I was thinking of the name “Zulaykha,” the wife of the Aziz from the story of Yusuf alayhi asalaam. I decided if I was going to take on a name I wanted one that everytime I heard it that it would be a reminder to me. The story of Zulaykha is so interesting… there is a very beautiful commentary about her in the Tafseer of Yusuf Ali’s translation of the Qur’an,… insha’Allah I will try to post it when I go back home. Many people are judgemental about her, but she is just human like the rest of us… she slipped and fell victim to her passions, her love for Yusuf alayhi asalaam. And even though she erred and made some big mistakes, in the end she stands up and admits the truth to everyone - this is not an easy thing to do. Can you imagine being in her position? She was in a high status, people gossiping about her for having tried to seduce her servant, being rejected by the object of her affection… dealing with the social and emotional aftermath of the whole incident. Then, standing in front of the king and everyone, and admitting the truth of her mistakes.
There is a lot of other stuff on my mind I wanted to write about, but insha’Allah I will post it later ~ Fi aman Allah.
islamic school November 8, 2008
Posted by hira in : General Musings , 2 commentsBismillah ar-Rahman ar-Raheem
Alhamdulillah today was good, and very rainy! I went to Uni and didn’t do much, but did run into one of my very good friends I haven’t seen in a long time :) We both could sympathize with “abaya troubles” - lack of selection, the bottom snaps unsnapping, and getting all wet at the bottom on rainy days. I love wearing abaya, but most of the ones I have are a tad “fancy” so I’ve been wearing the same black one for… awhile. But alhamdulillah anyways, insha’Allah once I get a job I will try and buy some more.
Later I came home and watched a series of videos on YouTube depicting shaytaan seducing people towards to haram… 14 short episodes that a well-done and good visual reminders ~however as for sending it to bro’s there are many episodes that have hijab-less sisters in them. And sometimes the shaytan’s outfit is a bit too tight! Well, I guess I don’t expect him to be following the sunnah :p
Here is the first episode for a taste: Shaytan #1: Don’t Wear Hijab, You Will Look Ugly
Then I went to a friends house for a nice dinner and time to chat. Got lost driving home (again) because I missed my exit, but I don’t mind because there is more time to drive around while listening to sh.Husain’s lectures. Mmm had a shower and now am trying to work out the details for a class I am teaching tomorrow morning at Saturday Islamic school.But I am SO sleepy….. I was just going to print the documents and sleep, but then I had the urge to procrastinate (x_x ); I saw an email about Baba Ali having a new season so thought “Okay, I will check out this video THEN go print the documents and sleep!” and subhan’Allah the video was about weekend Islamic school! You can check it out here.
His comments are very true… I have been teaching for the last two weekends, talking to the older youth who have been through “how to make wudu” class over and over and over again and are BORED out of their minds. So I am trying to engage them in discussions about the problems they face, the questions they have, and just trying to build more of an Islamic identity and connect the heart to Allah Ta’ala.
Alhamdulillah last week I thought went very well - they really opened up and seemed to enjoy it. Everyone wanted to tell their own stories and give input. For the girls, a lot of things about friends, guys, culture clash… how many “Muslim cultures” have so many things ingrained in them that are not in-line with Islam. A particular frustration is how sons are treated different than daughters and given more leeway, as if when they do something it is less haram.
As for me, I feel A LOT of pressure… often I think, “Who am I to be giving halaqas?” That I am inexperienced and not even properly educated yet… in terms of not having any formal Islamic education, just a lot of personal research and listening to others’ halaqas. The problems of the youth are many, not just the youth - rather the problems are with the entire community. To even try to tackle these problems are daunting, and I keep fearing what if I am ineffective or give them weak information or dont inspire them toward good as much as so-and-so could have?
But I also realize La hawla wa la quwatta illah billah - it is not up to me. All I can do is make the niyaah and ask Allah for help, but how they recieve it, if it sticks in their heart or not, that is up to Allah. I don’t have the power to change anyone. Even myself, I only hope for Allah’s Mercy and that He will give me the tawfiq to progress in the deen and to have the sunnah come into my life.
But I digress! Time to sleep so I can be refreshed and ready to spread the ilm tomorrow insha’Allah!
whitenoise November 7, 2008
Posted by hira in : General Musings , 3 commentsBismillah ar-Rahman ar-Raheem
Ahlan wa Sahlan ~ One thing I have been enjoying lately while working and reading is having relaxing nature sounds on in the background. The sound of rain or ocean waves are VERY calming whitenoise… Of course, al-Quran is the best thing to be listening too, but when doing other things I don’t like to have it playing in the background if I am not focusing on it.
There is a large selection on youtube, for example Mountain Stream, Rain (also comes with on water with thunder and with crickets), Amazon Rainforest, Ocean Waves, and much more.
Subhan’Allah… just the sound of Allah’s creation is so pleasing and relaxing to us… it reminds me that everything in creation submits to and worships Allah in their own way… maybe the sound of the waves or the rain are the sounds of the water’s dhikr?
Masalamaa…
Bismillah November 6, 2008
Posted by hira in : General Musings , 3 commentsAsalaam alaikum wa Rahmatullah,
I have been blogging for awhile… but I feel like shifting to something new, so why not move over to Hadithuna? :)
Why do I blog? I have just always had the drive to write … to express my experiences. On my past blog, it was a mix of re-posted articles and some of my own musings, but not too much about my own feelings or events. However, the blogs I most enjoy reading describe peoples experiences… because that is when you get something unique. Everyone has their own story. Maybe I just always undercut mine as “mundane” and not worthwhile - yet… always waiting for that grand adventure I assume will one day come when I get the chance to travel to somewhere away from this city… somewhere with fresh and interesting daily encounters that are worth writing about.
But that is not true. I am always a traveler through this dunya, and my experiences are worthwhile no matter where they take place. I just want to please Allah Ta’ala… I am not sure if this blog will help me along this path, or help others, but, for now I am still going to write.
Ya ukhti’s, I love you for the sake of Allah, lets stick together and do our best :)
Ps. It might be awhile before I totally tweak the layout etc. to my preference, also, (following the lead of UmmTravis) this blog is intended for ladies only! Heh I feel like I’m in 1st grade with the “No Boys Allowed!” sign… ;D
